Friday, 11 January 2013


Boring sermon
Words! Words! Words!
The illiterate in me screamed in frustration
“If you have something to say to us, just say it already!”
I didn’t see the point of all these long meetings
The air was hot
The windows were shut
The air-conditioning system was broken
The conference room was stuffy
My colleagues were yawning
Most were battling with perspiration
Others were biting their already harvested fingernails
The speaker was relentless
He just kept going on and on and on
Unaware of what his lecture was doing to them
He was committed to his speech
Intoxicated by his own words
Bathing them with his steady spray of saliva
“Could someone make it stop please!”
“Could someone zip “its” mouth and tie “it” to a chair?”
Something should be done about his rattling
Something should be done soon!
Else I was sure someone would go crazy
His shriek voice was now getting increasingly frustrating
He even laughed at his own dry jokes
They just kept staring
Patiently waiting for when those lips would stop moving
This was no longer a regular meeting
It was now a gathering for torture
The long speech
The boring talk
The dry jokes were enough to make one commit suicide
Ok maybe not suicide per se…hehehe
But I was daydreaming about tossing a chair at the lecturer
And every time he laughed at his dry jokes
I was tempted to throw my pen into his mouth
The sight of him choking on a pen would be so hilarious
I was certain that everyone who was asleep would wake up to laugh at the drama
At this point I decided to end this torture
I had practiced this at home
So I was certain it would work
I gently moved my laptop away from me
Adjusted my neck tie
Rolled my eyes until all I could see was a blurred haze
And then I started jerking until I fell flat on the cold floor

By Sylvia Chika

© SylviaChika 2013

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