UNCONSCIOUS DRIFT

Help!

My mind is higgledy-piggledy

My thoughts are running wild

Wild with no control

And I can’t calm myself

I’m on the edge

Yet there is no choice to jump

I’m just standing at the edge of the cliff

And looking down at the haze

If I go back, I’ll face my “past” again

But if I jump, I’ll face my “future”

Yet I can’t jump

So I just stand there

With thoughts so crazy

Crazy crazy thoughts

I just stand there and drink-in my “present”

What a mess!

What a stationary mess!

I look up and stare at the clouds above

They seem so close and pure

I lift my hands to touch them

But the disappointment of reality hits me

I put my hands on my chest to feel my heart beat

It is beating really fast like my thoughts

The thumps so fast!

The thumps so hard!

My heart beats fast!

Spinning thoughts!

A racing heart!

I look down again

Below the cliff

But the haze I see no more

My traffic of thoughts accelerating

As the view below me clears

I see my future

So clear!

So there!

I shudder as the wind caresses my skin

And I finally make the decision

The decision to change my situation

To make a move

To embrace my future

So I leap into the yonder below me

I feel the sweet joy of my future

But yet the fear of crashing engulfs me

And then I wake

My bed so soaked

My clothes so drenched

I look around in confusion

It was all a dream!

A substance-induced dream

What substance?

What happened?

Answers I do not have…

The many questions probing my conscience

My eyes feel so heavy

I close them gently

And drift again in sleep

By Sylvia Chika

sylviachika@gmail.com

http://sylviachika.blogspot.com/

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Twitter:@sylviaoz